


Prank War

by Kalliklusa



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Prank Wars
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-10 03:36:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7828933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalliklusa/pseuds/Kalliklusa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where Clint declares (prank) war on Natasha and Bucky isn't in on it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Bucky’s been living at the Avengers tower for almost four months. Since then there hasn’t been many major incidents, no-one’s been maimed or killed and, overall, he’s starting to really become friends with the other Avengers; he hasn’t even tried to kill anyone in over a month. Well, not until the war started anyway….

It was coming up to five am, the sun was rising, birds were singing and the avengers were all stumbling around the community floor hurling insults and challenges all round. And Bucky was curled up in bed sleeping like a baby; he had no idea what he was missing.  
“It’s on Barton!” Natasha finally shouted.  
“Oh yeah?! Well you’re going down!” Clint retorted, throwing back another shot before slamming the glass on to the table, and missing only to have it shatter at his feet “ah, fuck”. So that was the first thing that went wrong for Clint since the Civil War started and it certainly wasn’t the last, or the worst.

All around him bagels are falling from the sky. Their warm smell engulfs him and makes the comfy bed feel like a welcoming cloud lulling him into an even deeper sleep; an icy wave crashes down engulfing him in a much, much colder, wetter cloud.  
“HOLY SHIT!” Clint practically leaps from his bed where he’d been snoring happily only moments before. His mattress, now sodden and cold, is surrounded by every single goddamned avenger in this god forsaken building. Tony has the widest, most irritating grin on his face; his clapping is even more annoying; its 6 in the fucking morning. Behind him Bruce has poked his head through the door and he just can’t seem to hide the small grin thats fighting its way on to his face while Thor’s hearty laugh is almost all anyone can hear. The only good thing about this is that, even though it’s small, Wanda has a smile on her face. Whereas Nat is perched on top of his desk, legs swinging, with a proud smirk on her lips and empty bucket at her side.  
“You wanted war Barton” She says, hopping down “Well, its on”. She’s out of the door before Clint can splutter out a coherent sentence, everyone else sticks around for a while longer because “this is fucking amazing!” according to Tony.

Its mid-afternoon and Clint has finally decided what his move will be. While rummaging through the kitchen cupboards Clint can hear Tony filling in Sam and Steve on the “early morning dip” they’d all witnessed. At this point Bucky was still out after his morning run and Vision was… somewhere.  
“You should have seen his face! He looked like he was gonna cry; he was spluttering something about bagels? Clint? Bagels?” Tony was asking. Clint just flipped him off before leaving the room, ingredients in hand. 

This was probably the most dangerous thing Clint’d ever done; he was already in Natasha’s apartment and there was no backing out now. He could hear the shower turn on in the bathroom and hoped to literally anyone who wold listen that she wouldn’t be getting out anytime soon. Army crawling past the door he could just see the hairdryer laying atop her desk. Opening up his back pack he pulled out a massive bag of flour and some sort of funnel he’d taken from Stark’s lab. Pouring the flour into the hairdryer is a lot harder that he thought it would be but he still manages to have it back in place in less than a minute with no evidence of his visit, despite sneezing and sending a massive flour cloud into the air before running the fuck away before Nat kills him.

After hitting the community floor Clint finally starts walking to the kitchen, Steve and Bucky are cooking, or Steve is sitting on the side trying to steal kisses from Bucky as he attempts to work around him.  
“What'ya makin’?” He asks jumping up to sit next to Steve.  
“Cupcakes” they reply together, Bucky’s started to turn away from the cupboard he’d been rummaging through, when he turns around his eyebrow quirks up before an accusatory look crossed his face.  
“You”  
“Me? I’m Clint” He replies shooting a glance at Steve who’s too busy staring at his boyfriend to notice.  
“You used all the damn flour didn’t you?” He asks, eyes narrowing.  
“What?! Me!? Never?!” he’ll deny it as long as possible; he doesn’t need another teammate thinking he has a death wish.  
“Sure you didn’t” He says before moving so he can hit him round the head. A cloud of flour floats in the air in front of him…. Bucky turns to Steve “i’m going down the shops, be back soon” He presses a quick kiss to Steve’s cheek and casts a glare in Clint’s direction.  
“How the hell did you managed that?” Steve asks eyeing his hair.  
“Um, well, don’t tell Nat, it was for the greater good” He says ruffling his hair to get rid of the flour. Steve just sighs before making his way over to the tv where Tony’s surrounded by the parts of household device he feels “needs an upgrade”.

Only a few minutes later Natasha comes storming out the elevator. Her fiery hair hair is caked in white and her face is smeared with flour from clearing her eyes. Despite her appearance she still looks like she’s gonna snap Clint in half. With each step she takes towards him, he takes about three in the opposite direction. Tony and Steve have been joined by Sam, they’re all holding back their laughter, well except Tony, he’s giggling like a teenage girl.  
“I think there’s something on your face?” Tony calls, but even he stops talking after one glance from her. Clint however, has his phone out and is clicking away with a massive grin on his face.  
“Oh you have no idea what you’ve started” her voice is quieter, almost coy, but Clint can see the promise in her eyes. He’s fucked. But it was so worth it.

\---------------------------------------

All the Avengers had been out on a mission from literally dawn ‘till dusk. Once they’d finally gotten back to the tower they’d all piled in to the lift to go back to their floors; every single one was covered in dirt from head to toe. Clint had been taking out targets from a nearby building which resulted in him, and Bucky, getting caught in a massive cloud of ash. They’d moved to the ground near the tail end of the fight to help take out the stragglers. Bucky had been dragged into the middle of a cluster of Hydra Agents; he came up basically unscathed. The Hydra bastards however…. well they’re definitely dead. Steve and Natasha had brought Bucky back to the here and now in a matter of seconds. The last Clint saw of Bucky he was practically curled up asleep in Steve’s lap on the way to their “holiday home” so they could spend a few days making sure nothing was going to happen and keep him away from so many huge targets.

Currently Clint was just happy he could turn his hearing aid off; Tony had been talking about a load of science crap for almost an hour, Bruce was managing to look both mildly intrigued yet still like he may fall asleep on the spot. Lucky for him his apartment was on the lowest floor out of them all. Now, since Nat and Wanda were giggling about something in the corner, Tony turned to Clint and Sam. Unsurprisingly not being able to hear Tony made him a lot more bearable, Clint manages to spend the rest of the ride re-visiting his bagel dreams…. while Sam has to endure the rest of the “talk”. After getting in to his apartment the first thing he did was strip off, discarding his clothes to the floor where they’d probably stay for the rest of the week, and jump in the shower. Scalding hot water burns away the dirt from his skin and the heat works its way into his muscles unknotting the tension in his back. He grabs the closest bottle of two-in-one shampoo, a bright pink bottle he got from Tony as a christmas present, and works it in to his hair, he’d never admit to using it but it just smelt so damn good. After thirty minutes of belting out Queen and attempting to not fall asleep standing up, again. When he finally jumps out the shower he bypasses the mirror to go straight to bed where he can sleep like a baby comforted by the six new locks that keep out any and all interruptions. 

Clint wakes with a start; there’s someone in his room.  
“Good morning Mr.Barton,”  
“Jesus what the… Jarvis?!” Clint shouts through the blurriness of sleep.  
“You have been requested to meet Agent Coulson on the community floor for debriefing,” Jarvis reply.  
“What?”  
“You have been requested to meet Agent Couls...”  
“Yes, yes, okay, i get it, i get it, tell Coulson i’m on my way,” Clint says, grabbing a t-shirt and jogging bottoms off the floor before stumbling his way to the elevator.

Irritatingly upbeat music fills Clint’s ears as he runs his fingers through his hair, messing it up even more than he knew it obviously was already, even without using a mirror. He hit the community floor with a ding and watched the doors slide open in a daze. Immediately white flashes blinded him. Shielding his eyes with his hand he could make out three figures all armed with massive cameras that had only just stopped flashing him. Beside them, however, Tony continued to flash him; he wasn’t using a camera….  
“Jesus Christ man cover up!” Clint shouted as the rest of the avengers, minus Sam, Steve and Bucky come in to focus.  
“Never! This is a free country and you’re being blessed with the sight of my body,” Tony sung, finally wrapping his dressing gown all the way round.  
“I’m scarred,” Clint muttered “What the hell are you do anyway?! Whats with the cameras and shit!?”.  
“Wait, you haven’t noticed!?” Tony exclaimed “this is priceless,”. Tony clicked his fingers; Bruce and Vision walked forward carrying a mirror between them.  
“HOLY SHIT!” Clint screamed; in front of him his reflection showed him, but his hair was bright white. Like bleached and….. oh shit, it looked pretty damned permanent to him. “NATASHA,”.  
“Yes Barton?” She answered, coming out from behind the three photographers with a wicked smile on her face.  
“I can totally rock this,”.

\----------------------------------------------------------------


	2. Chapter 2

Clint cursed, stumbling over another damned tree root. He was certain that this forest must have some personal vendetta against him; no on else was having this problem. After their lift back to base had been totalled at the end of the mission, along with all communication systems, they’d agreed that they’d have to walk the whole way back instead.  
After two hours of tripping over roots and getting hit in the face by low tree branches, Clint had settled into a grumpy silence, concentrating on the path in front of him. About half and hour back Steve and Bucky had taken off, deciding to jog ahead because they’re a pair of masochist freaks. For some reason they had even thought the rest of us would keep up, until they’d looked back to see Clint walk straight into a particularly well camouflaged tree… After that even Sam had to fall back; he was now at the back of the group with Vision and Wanda, who were surprisingly talkative when they were together. Tony had jumped at the chance to grab Thor, asking a seemingly endless stream of questions about Asgardian technology. Thor was more than happy to answer, unlike many other people he enjoyed his conversations with Tony. Clint had been tempted to take out his hearing aid a few times but decided against it, not willing to give Natalia an opportunity to jump out at him.

It took another twenty minutes for Clint to finally decide it was time to slide things up a bit;he was bored. The sun had finally started to drop behind the cloud, painting the sky in vibrant oranges and reds before fading into gloomy greys that allowed him to drift back, unseen, behind Bruce who had been at the tail end of the group before moving up to talk with Natasha. They were just coming up to a particularly dense cluster of trees that bordered the path on both sides. Clint was able to position himself behind a wide oak tree and Natasha walked past completely unaware of his presence. He let Vision pass; it was unlikely that he’d get a good reaction from him. Clint watched as Sam and Wanda neared his tree, deep in conversation, waiting for them to get close enough before launching him self on to the path.  
“AHH” Clint shouted, trying to sound at least a bit intimidating. But while he got a fantastic scream from Sam, which he would hold over him for the rest of his life, he wasn’t all that prepared for Wanda’s predictable reaction. He felt himself fly back, red sparks lighting up the small pathway.  
“What the hell man?!” Sam screamed again, while Wanda doubled over, giggling uncontrollably.

Every half-hour or so Clint would get bored and jump out at another Avenger. First Thor, who had only jumped slightly and then, with a hearty chuckle, went to lean on Tony’s shoulder and sent him flying off the path where he sat for a few started moments covered in leaves and swarmed by mosquitoes. Then it was Bruce. After Natasha had walked ahead again Clint took the opportunity, picking out his next target. Even though he did’t exactly turn green his slow, delayed “oh, hey man” had gotten Sam giggling with Wanda again.

But Clint never got the chance to target Natasha herself. 

After jumping out at Bruce Natasha had disappeared up ahead; Clint walked faster to listen in on Tony and Thor. Twenty minutes later, Natasha was still too far ahead to see but Clint had drifted a few metres behind the pair and was completely oblivious to the stick that ‘fell’ from the trees, hitting Tony from behind. He heard a scream, loud and ghastly but couldn’t see anyone behind the trees. Tony and Thor were whipping their heads from side to side, unable to find where the scream was coming from. It was only when Clint looked up that he screamed; there was a dark shadow perched in a tree next to the path. He could see no details or colours, just an unidentifiable black shape. His fright caused him to jump backwards, but unfortunately the path was very narrow there. He ended up tumbling backwards, landing in a clump of bushes and something he didn’t want to think about from the forest floor. Only then, with Tony shining a light up, into the tree, was the screaming replaced by a sinister giggle. Perched, fifteen feet up a tree, Natasha was clinging on to a branch, laughing too much to begin to make her way down.  
“How could you?!” Clint asked with an offended tone to his voice. His heart still beat in his ears, he was more scared of monsters in trees that a team of Hydra agents. Natasha didn’t bother answering and only high-fived Tony when she reached the ground again.  
“Point to Natasha” he heard Sam say. But Clint was already planning his next move; he was so going to win.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't even come close to finishing yet, but i'm just updating it as i write it. Please point out any spelling or grammar mistake so i can fix them :)


End file.
